sad... disappointing... discouraging...

Well... life just stinks sometimes. Today is one of those times. My period started on Wednesday. I called the Dr to come in for ultrasound today. (You are suppose to have an ultrasound and bloodwork to get your starting levels and see how many follicles you have on Day 2, 3, or 4 of your period.) So I went in. The ultrasound tech started measuring things... a lot of things. I said in surprise " Are those my ovaries?" She said " Those are residual cysts on your ovaries." I said "Is that normal?" She said "About 25% of patients have them. Some doctors will allow you go ahead with your cycle. Some will not." I said "I have Dr. Sipe. How is he?" I was trying to get all the information out of her. She said " Dr. Sipe likes to progress.... but if you have more than 2-3 than it is more serious. And he may make you take a month off." So I knew when the nurse called today, that it might not be good. But I was hoping to be able to progress. Well, I am sure you can tell by the title of this post that it is not going to be happening. I know waiting for one more month isn't really a big deal in the big pictures of things. Mike and I have been trying for baby number 3 for 2 years now. It is hard to wait and do nothing. I have to go on birth control to suppress my ovaries and let everything calm down. So I am totally bummed, frustrated, and just want my body to work. I know it is not my fault and that I can't change things or even have control over them, but it is my body that is not working.... we can't even get to the step where Mike is involved physically. So it is my body that is holding us back--- but that has been the case for our entire journey of trying to conceive children. Won't it be nice in the resurrection--- a perfected body-- what a gift that will be for me!