Progestrone test

Yesterday I drove 25 minutes for a less-than 10 minutes appointment to have my blood drawn. The blood draw was to test my progestrone. My nurse, Agnes, called back later in the day to tell me that my level was 22.5- which is good. They want it to be between 10 and 20.  She also told me that this means nothing whether I am pregnant or not-- she has seen bad numbers and there is a pregnancy, and she has seen good numbers with no pregnancy. But the  progestrone level does say that I did ovulate ( a necessity to be prego :)) and  that I won't have to take a progestrone pill in another cycle if this cycle does not work out.

I am feeling extremely cautious in allowing myself to get positive about being pregnant. I am hopeful. But I think the miscarriage 8 months ago scared me. I have been reminded that I really have no control of whether this works or not. So I will just try to go about what I can control-- my attitude. I am hopeful that I will get good news and yet I feel somewhat prepared for bad news.  This week has been so long compared to the other weeks in September. This week I only had to drive up to Oakbrook once, instead of three times. I am sure it will feel like a long time until next Thursday. I can't wait for it to come-- I want to know-- not realy good with the waiting time. But this weekend will be fun-- Parker turns 4 and is having a party in-between conference sessions. And I love conference! Happy Weekend!

leave the rest in the hands of God

Everything went really smoothly today! I couldn't have asked for it to go any better than it went. Now we just wait-- which may be the hard part for me. I love doing things and not waiting.... but there is not much I can do now! :) It is hard to not think about how this day could have an impact on the rest of my life... but we will just leave that in the hands of God. It is a great miracle and blessing to be at this stage and I feel so grateful!

Trying not to get toooooo Excited! But I can't help it!

Well, I never thought I would share with anyone when any of my children were conceived.... but this is different. We have two eggs that are ready to be fertilized (one is 19.3, the other is 18.3). So tonight we give the ovulation shot and tomorrow we go in for the artificial insemination procedure. Then we are in the waiting game-- 2 weeks before we know if we are pregnant or not. I feel so excited but trying not to get too excited-- there are still lots of things that could go wrong. But it just feels so good to be at this point and to have more hope that this may work!!! Hooray!

Growing

My dear mommy has been here... so I haven't taken the time to update the blog. But here is the news-- after ultrasound and blood work on Monday morning, we have three follicles that are growing.  One is 13.9 mm, one at 13.5, and one at 11.5.  Tomorrow morning I will know more. Still mixed emotions going on but overall optimistic! They kept my dose at 100 units. There were a lot of little follicles showing up on the ultrasound.  Hopefully they stay little and the big ones grow!

Teasers

Well... here goes the roller coaster ride again. Just when it looks good, the next time it looks bad or not as good as it did before. The 2 follicles that were the growing disapeared. My estrogen level actually went down. I am not sure why that happens. Sometimes if the follicles are bad (rotten eggs) they stop growing and we see fluid in place of where they use to be. We did see some fluid on one ovary, so that one was rotten. The plan now is to double my dose for four days and see if we can get these eggs to grow. Four more days of injectables and then ultrasound and blood work. I feel frustrated. I wish I had the Lord's view in all this it would be so much easier to take on. I am nervous about them doubling the dose of drugs- nervous that all 19 follicles will start to grow and I will have OHSS again. It is at times like these that I question everything-- Did I chose the right doctor? Am I really suppose to have more kids? Did I really receive answers from the Lord? Am I doing what is right for my body and my family?  Or am I just simply overacting (maybe because the crazy drugs I stick myself with)?  I need prayers. Prayers that I will be able to accept the Lord's will, prayers for my doctor, prayers that my body will recover from the drugs and this dumb pneumonia that I am still struggling with. Thanks for your love and support!

Progress

Well, we have done 5 days of clomid and 2 days of injectables. (Also, had pneumonia in the middle of that-- yuck!) I went in for ultrasound and bloodwork. 2 follicles are growing well at 13 mm. (They have to be 18 mm to be fertilized.) I also have one other that is growing but not that big yet. So we are on for two more days of injectables and then another ultrasound and bloodwork.  I am feeling optimistic at this point, but once again not getting over the top optimistic. More follicles could still be growing which would mean this cycle could end like the last one.... or maybe it won't. Time will tell.  Check back on Thursday for an update!

Here we go again! Climbing!

Well, yesterday I went in for my first ultrasounds. The residual cysts are all clear. The bad news is I am starting with 19 follicles on my ovaries. Gals without PCOS usually only have 6-8 follicles on their ovaries. So when we start feeding all of these follicles the hormones they want, I am hoping that we will only get two or three to mature... but it seems near impossible that will work... but miracles have not ceased and I believe the Lord has a plan for me.  I do trust my doctor... it is just hard to see how this will turn out different than the 1st cycle. The doc did cut my clomid intake in half and cut the injection dose by one third.  So the plan is to do 5 days of clomid, then 2 days of injectables, and back for ultrasound and bloodwork on Tuesday. Pray for us this will work out... we can only do one more cycle of injectables and then it is on to IVF (Invitro fertilitzation). I hope this doesn't seem to negative. I have to keep my hopes managable to that to not be too disappointed.  Here we go! :)